Karen’s Story

Like many of us who struggle with weight, my memories of this struggle go back to childhood.  There was palpable tension in my home, and I used food – especially sweets, but other “comfort foods”, too – to help me cope with that tension.

My earliest memory of over-eating involves a bag of Oreos.  My mom was, as I like to fondly refer to her, a “Seventies Health Nut”.  We ate cardboard-like whole-wheat pasta (thank goodness that has come a long way!), and she made these cookies with whole-wheat flour and fruit juice that were just awful, I mean, awful!  So, there were almost never sweets around the house.  And then one day, there they were.  Right on the table, one side of the bag slightly opened, Oreos.  I reached in and pulled one out.  And I gobbled it down – I certainly didn’t want my mom, the health nut (who happened to be on the other side of the kitchen with her back to me, washing dishes) to see me eating the Oreo.  She didn’t see.  I ate another.  Before I knew it I had eaten the entire row!  A few minutes later my mother walked by, I pretended to be innocently standing near the bag of Oreos, but certainly not eating them!  She looked at the bag and gasped, “Where did all the Oreos go?!?”  I shrugged innocently, and said, “I dunno” as I backed out of the room, embarrassed that I had eaten so many.

I remember being on vacation in Florida with my family when I was about 12.  We were with our grandparents so there was quite a bit of “forbidden foods” around.  I remember munching on some cheetos and my father saying, “You sure you need all that?  It’ll go straight to your thighs.”  And my grandfather agreed, “You are getting a little chubby.”  So, of course, I hid and ate the entire bag of cheetos.  When I look at pictures of myself at 12, its true.  I was a little chubby.  But through hard work and some bulimic tendencies… and a lot of dance classes, I maintained a facade of a healthy weight.

In high school I was on the dance/drill team – we performed high kick routines and other precision dance routines during half time at football games.  I loved it.  But one of the team rules was that we could not be more than two pounds over our Weight Limit.  We weighed in every Monday.  If you were more than two pounds over your weight limit on Monday, you were not permitted to dance at the football game on Friday… but you did have to attend the game… in your uniform… and sit in the stands while the rest of the team went out on the field at half time… humiliating for those that it happened to.   I lived in fear of it happening to me.  And while it never did happen, every Monday when I weighed in I was always exactly two pounds over my assigned Weight Limit.  And every Monday my sweet Drill Team director, who I absolutely loved, would say to me, “You need to watch it Karen.  You’ve got to loose those two pounds.”  Of course I would starve myself every weekend, eat nothing on Mondays until 6th period when I had drill team, and then over-eat the rest of the week, go out for pizza after the football game and then start the cycle over again Saturday morning.  I remember taking my allowance to a convenience store, buying a supply of candy and snack cakes and hiding them in my room.  Once I had weighed in for the week and had been within that dreaded two pounds, I would go home and devour them.

The summer between high school and college I gained about five pounds.  I was probably at a really healthy weight for an 18 year old at my height, but of course, I thought I was obese.  When I started college that fall I auditioned for the dance company.  This was “serious dancing” – no pompoms or cute uniforms – only bare feet or ballet slippers and plain black leotards.  Nothing to distract from the art of the dance.  I was sure I made it.  I thought my audition was great.  When I went to check the bulletin board I was dismayed to see my name on the “alternates” list.  When I inquired about my status the director told me, “Karen, you are a wonderful dancer, but you need to loose about ten pounds.”  In retrospect, what I know intellectually is that I did not have the traditional “dancer body” – I had a curvy body.  It was a curvy body, at a healthy weight, in fabulous athletic condition, but did not conform to the dictates of what a “dancer” looks like.

I minored in dance, but never got to perform with the company because I never did loose those 10 pounds.  After college I went from dancing many hours a week to dancing 2 hours a week (I signed up for two classes at a studio near my work) but I didn’t change my eating habits.  The first year after college I gained 30 pounds.  I realized I needed to do something, so I joined Weight Watchers.  I joined three times before I finally lost the 30 pounds and was back at a healthy weight – probably for the first time in my life actually healthy!  I was working out, eating right and felt fantastic.  So, I inquired about a position as a Weight Watchers Leader.

For the last 12 years I have been a Weight Watchers Leader – loving every minute of it.  Helping people to loose weight and discover the wonders of eating healthy foods.  Along the way I began studying wellness, nutrition, and fitness.  I read everything I could get my hands on and began counseling others on many aspects of wellness and health.

But when I became a Weight Watchers Leader I think I thought somehow I had become immune to weight struggles.  So, I didn’t notice when 10 pounds crept back on.  Then 15.  Then I did something about it.  (oh, right, because I was getting married… )  After I got married my weight crept up again.  And again I had to face it.  This time it got bad enough that my manager had to say something to me, for at Weight Watchers it is part of the job description to maintain your goal weight.  With my manager’s support I began to loose weight again, and just as I was really getting going and almost back to my goal weight, I got pregnant for the first time.  My daughter was born in April of 2003 and when all was said and done (the initial rapid weight loss right after a baby) I had 30 pounds to loose!  It took me until November of 2004 to loose it, I got within a few pounds of my goal weight and … you guessed it.  I got pregnant again.

After my son was born in August of 2005, and again when all was said and done, I had 30 pounds to loose… again!  I set a goal to be back at my goal weight by his first birthday.  Not only did I not achieve that, but I had gained another 10 pounds!

All this time, I was still a Weight Watchers Leader.  Members would come up to me after a meeting and say, “You know, I just have to tell you, you are the best Weight Watchers Leader I’ve ever had.  You’re so caring, so inspirational.  I leave your meeting so motivated – thank you!”  And I would hear this and think, “gosh, I’m such a fraud.”

In January of 2007 I finally decided to find help outside of Weight Watchers.  What had always worked for me before was no longer working.  I’d gained another 5 pounds, so I now had 45 pounds to loose!

I went to see Dr. Kate Fox – at naturopathic chiropractor.  She ran a myriad of tests on me and found that I had severely depressed adrenal gland function, my hormones were very very low, I had a systemic yeast infection and my blood sugar was a bit wacky (not quite “pre-diabetic”, but close).  She said, “Well, here we have documented evidence of why your body is not letting go of body fat no matter how hard you try.  On top of that, you’re struggling just to get through the day, so you’re using caffeine and sugar to replace the energy that should be supplied by your adrenal glands.”  It was such a relief to hear that I wasn’t lazy!

Through my work with Dr. Kate I am well on my way back to a healthy weight and have a renewed vigor for my passion to teach wellness to people who are trying to loose weight.

Over the course of my tenure with Weight Watchers I became increasingly interested in the connection between nutrition and psychology.  I received my Masters Degree in Psychology in 1997 and my certification in Mindful Coaching in 2006.  I believe it is my life’s work to teach others how to live a balanced, healthy life, so that they not only can achieve a healthy weight, but also live a life that is fulfilling.